Fears, Food Allergies and a Different Perspective

Today, well, really, the past couple days, has been a reality check of life with food allergies. Praise the Lord I had a great weekend away with my friend. I felt great (other than lack of sleep!) and I did get to talk extensively with my friend about what life is like with them. I even helped her figure out something she was eating that had made her sick because of a food allergy!

You know those days when things are just flying around in your mind and you don't realize they are there until one big moment, and then things come crashing in you on? That happens in normal life without food allergies, but for me, it seems, dealing with food allergies causes this to happen more often! Tuesday night through Wednesday morning I was having problems with tightness in my upper chest/lower throat area. I still don't know if I ate something that gave me this reaction or if something else was going on, but regardless it was a scary experience at various parts. Thankfully, I avoided the emergency room and the compounded liquid Benadryl helped calm the reactions some. But any time after a big reaction my mind always works in over-drive: "Was it this food? No, maybe this one? What about this? But I ate that another time and I was fine, etc, etc, etc." It makes me scared to eat some days since I don't want to repeat that experience!

This time around I was thinking of even more things than I realized -- that's because we have a move looming ahead. And not just any move, a move overseas! We are working on packing up the rest of what we won't want between now and mid-July when we move out of our apartment. We'll spend 6 or so weeks with family and then head to Scotland for my husband to do his PhD. While we are so excited about this change, for me it has brought a lot of uncertainties too.

So today it all hit me -- I had been thinking since my "episode" on Tues/Wed, "How am I going to cut out foods I've been eating and eat new ones all while trying to focus my energy on moving? How am I going to travel while trying to figure out new allergies or dealing with allergies that aren't in control? Whatever will I find to eat once we move? How will these new allergies play in to what I can find?" Whew. It's a lot for a mind to think about!

That's when I sat down to ask God to calm my heart and mind. I cannot live in this state of fear and anxiety. I have been forgetting that He's my source of strength and my help in these days of uncertainties and trials. I was grateful He brought to mind the verses I memorized earlier this year for days like this:

"I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My sould will makes it boast in the Lord;
The humble will hear it and rejoice.
O magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.
I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears."
Psalm 34:1-4

So, again I praise God for these experiences, for the chance to stop and rejoice in the life He's given me. I have sought Him, and He has answered me and delivered me from all my fears....until I forget again and we go through the process again. Let us exalt His name together that He is a God who takes away my fears and gives me chance after chance to trust Him anew.

Social Aspects of Food Allergies

One of the hardest aspects of food allergies is the strain it can add to an individual or family regarding social interactions. Since being diagnosed with food allergies I have become keenly aware of how much of our culture is centered around food. If we want to catch up with friends, we meet them for lunch/dinner and eat. If we want to get to know someone better, we invite them over for dinner and eat. If we want to celebrate an important event or memory, we go out and eat, or have friends/family over and eat. If we watch 30 minutes of TV (and most of us watch much more!), we are bombarded with lucious new foods to eat. If we open our mail, we are sent coupons with great offers on a variety of foods. If we go to the grocery store to buy food, we are met with sample to eat. If we stand in the checkout line while waiting, we have pleanty of food magazines to look at encouraging us to eat their new recipes.

I think I've made my point. Food is everywhere. Not to mention the fact that to survive we have to eat. In our culture we eat an average of three meals per day. That's three times a day I have to think about what I am putting in my mouth and am reminded of my restrictions. And in my case, I usually eat 6-7 times a day because I eat smaller portions and have to keep my blood sugar stable. Some days it is exhausting to stay disciplined enough to eat "safe" foods. Doing that means preparing ahead and having "safe" options on hand so I don't "cheat." Having food allergies can be rather isolating socially, especially if they are severe and extensive.

I am learning to deal with what happens when I eat my "special food" in front of people I haven't eaten around before. I think it is only natural to be a bit hesitant to do this. For instance, our church often has times to eat together. While this is a blessing and joy to be with the people of God, it can also be draining on me. I am getting used to bringing my own food and learning that rather than sitting there having people wonder why in the world I'm eating food that's different than everyone else (but, of course, they are too polite to ask why) I often explain the reason. It sure does get people talking and asking questions! And, I have found out about so many other people who have allergies through those discussions. I think it is a great opportunity to share with others about food allergies so they can be informed about the seriousness of food allergies in our society today. It has also been a way for me to share how God has helped me overcome the challenges associated with being diagnosed with food allergies.

I am going out of town this weekend to visit a friend. I am sure there will be many situations where I will "stand out" whether I want to or not! It does make me grateful for good friends that I eat with regularly here at home who know all about me and my unique diet. Often times they even try to accomodate me and my needs. Thanks to all who have ever done this for me!

Allergy Symptoms

One question that I get asked a lot is, "What are your symptoms." The list is so long and varied we usually don't make it very far.

I had some rice waffles this morning, and the extreme tiredness I had after eating them (and also Wed. night after eating them for dinner) makes this post rather relevant today. I am hoping it is not the rice flour making me tired. It is more likely, it is the .002% of gluten from barley protein in the Rice Dream Original rice milk that I made them with. I have noticed this milk bothers me some every now and then when I have it in larger quantities too close together. What a bummer...right now it is the only milk product I can have. I have to search out rice milk with no added vitamins (corn) and no gluten.

For those on the hunt of causes of symptoms, I'll list mine here, especially because before even thinking about food allergies I first thought I had other ailments.

Wheat:
1. Fatigue -- extreme tiredness, can't focus and get things done. Begins within minutes after eating offending food and lasts for several hours. Seems to be worse if I eat these allergens 2-3 times in a couple days time span.
2. Cough -- Dry, just a couple times right after eating. I know affectionately call it my "wheat cough" :)
3. Joint pain -- This one took me awhile to figure out. I was having extreme pain in my lower, right hip/back joint and didn't know why. I had an MRI to make sure that it wasn't arthritis. It wasn't until after the wheat was out of my system and I'd eat it every now and then that I realized the connection.
4. Moodiness -- This one is still being tested :) It does seem at times that I am much more irritable 4-24 hours after having wheat/gluten. However, maybe it is just all in my head!
5. Sore/Scratchy Throat -- This is a more recent development that I am not 100% sure is from wheat exposure, but that's my best guess right now!

Dairy (specifically Casein):
1. Stomach ache/digestive problems -- I don't know I can even give specifics. It's been 3 years since I cut back on my dairy intake. I've been dairy-free (other than a few bites every now and then) for 2 /12 yrs. All I know is, I used to be in the bathroom a lot and have lots of pain. I tried sheep's milk cheese (3 times, 3 different days in a row, very small amounts) about 2 months ago. Let's just say, it didn't go well. Since that time I have finally been convinced I am more sensitive to dairy that I first wanted to admit (I was a cheese-a-holic growing up). But, realizing this has also helped me desire it less, which is good!

Soy:
1. Cough -- I get a cough similar to the wheat.
2. Congestion -- mainly slight in my throat
3. Tightness in throat -- Nothing life threatening yet, thankfully, just kinda weird.
4. Digestive issues -- I was eating a food with soy hidden in it several months ago and I knew something was going on because my digestive track was in over-drive.

Corn:
1. Rash/Eczema -- I get this in two places: around my eyes (mainly left) and on my hand (mainly right, in between fingers most prevalent). This will flare up when I have repeatedly eaten a food that contains corn (without my knowing, of course!)
2. Lower abdominal pain/The Big D -- Won't give full details, but it's not fun.
3. Tightness in throat/Congestion -- This happens AFTER #2. It's very weird. It's like I have some delayed anaphylaxis, but it usually happens up to 24-48 hours after I have eaten what I shouldn't have. I am still trying to figure out if this is all corn related.
4. Tiredness/Yawning -- Also part of #3. I will yawn repeatedly for 15-20 minutes. I don't know if it is my body being wiped out from #2 or what, but it comes without fail when I have a bad reaction.
5. Nausea -- This is the last stage of my reaction. Again, after #2 and sort of along with #3 & 4. Can last for 1-2 hours.

Tomato:
1. Cramping/Digestive problems -- This was the biggest thing I remember. I haven't had these at all for 2 1/2 yrs. The doctor said this was my "true" allergy that could easily turn to anaphylaxis if I wasn't careful.
2. Similar problems to corn's #2-5 (and yet they tell me I am not allergic to corn in the same way as tomatoes).

Other suspect foods that I avoid right now due to reactions, but have not had complete allergy testing for them:

Grapes/Raisins:
1. See corn and tomato reactions. They all seem the same for me and stem from my digestive track.

Green/Red/Yellow Peppers:
1. I think similar to tomatoes because they are in the same food family. The last time I had green peppers (sort of to test things) I had a rough time so I won't be eating these again any time soon!

Mushrooms:
1. Tightness in throat/chest -- nothing super dangerous yet, but enough to make me notice and decide to stay away from these! May be related to my mold allergy?

Bananas:
1. Similar to mushrooms. I haven't eaten them too often since being diagnosed with the other allergies because the doctors told me these are often allergenic foods.


I also have multiple environmental allergies that unless I pulled out my list I could never remember them all. Suffice it to say, many trees, pollen, grasses, weeds, pets, molds are included and cause the usual environmental reactions of itchiness, sneezing, congestion.

Within the past two weeks I am also suspicious of having a reaction to nickel or some other metal used in earrings.

The Lord Gives and Takes Away

When I was initially diagnosed with my allergies I went through a period of having many mixed emotions: grief/anger/depression/denial. I literally cried about saying "good-bye" to pizza (allergic to the cheese, the sauce, the crust). After about a month of this, God convicted me that He had given me this medical condition and I needed to accept it--and start living my life with these new challenges trusting in His sovereignity. During this process I remember singing this song by Tree63 during Sunday morning worship and on the radio in the car. I recently heard it again and was reminded of what God has been teaching me.

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name

When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

The Lord certainly has given us food for both our need and our enjoyment. There are many foods that are simply for our pleasure and not necessary to live. The Lord has freely given us (especially as Amercians) more than enough in "the food department!" This song convicted me that since food was a gift from God it was also His to take away and I was not to question that, but rather bless and praise His name. As this song indicates, we are to praise in the good times ("in the land that is pleantiful, where streams of abundance flow"), but also in the "bad" -- "when the darkness closes in...on the road marked with suffering." The interesting thing is that the "bad" or hard times are the times when we are being molded more into the image of Christ. They feel "bad" but aren't necessarily viewed that way by God. He has greater purposes at work--my sanctification and His glory. Therefore, "bad" circumstances are really "the best" circumstances. I am still learning that through each reaction, each loss of a new food I find bothers me, each time I look longingly at what someone else is eating, I am to praise God. Praise Him that I can infact still eat MANY foods! Praise Him that overall I have a healthy body. Praise Him that He has helped me through each step of this journey. Praise Him most of all that I have Christ; that He is my Bread of Life

A Brief Background of My Allergies

I was diagnosed a little over 2 years ago with allergies to wheat, corn, dairy and tomatoes. Six months after that soy was added to the list. Most people ask if I always had these allergies or if they just appeared. At first it seemed like they came out of nowhere, but looking back I do believe I had some symptoms of food allergies growing up. But I also think a strange stomach virus (a year before my actual diagnosis) set off these allergies, or at least made symptoms worse. I also have many environmental/inhalant allergies (ragweed, trees, grasses, mold, dust, cats/dogs, roach, etc, etc, etc!) that seemed to have come out of nowhere after a bout with bronchitis and strep the fall of my 7th grade year.

In January of this year I was having more reactions again and was desperately trying to get to the bottom of the recurrence of these reactions. I was grateful my doctor was supportive of having more testing done. The tests did not reveal any new allergies, for which I was thankful. The reactions seem to have stemmed from eating peanut butter with unlabled soy in it and applesauce with citric acid, which is a form of corn--I forgot to check that label since it had been sitting in my cupboard for several months (I bought it before I knew about citric acid being corn). The past few months have reminded me I have to always be on guard for hidden forms of my food allergies. If only labeling laws were stricter! But I digress and we'll save that for a future post.

I don't think I would ever choose to have food allergies (or environmental, although, they are less debilitating for me)--I don't think anyone with food allergies would! But 2 and 1/2 years on this side of being diagnosed I have learned some important lessons, especially regarding my walk with the Lord, which I hope to be able to share throughout the course of this blog.